Things I Don’t Care About: BigLaw Pay Raises

Hello and welcome to Lawyers & Liquor, where we do nothing but talk about legal stuff in a profane manner because…you know what? I don’t owe an explanation to you.  Every lawyer in the world wants to just start cursing about halfway through discussing anything legal with laymen and brand-spanking-new baby attorneys, and that’s what I do because, frankly, I ain’t got much to lose anymore by doing it.

So today let’s start talking about the things I don’t really give two watery shits about, and by that I mean the whole thing going on that’s  been over-reported and covered with intense scrutiny in the legal community.  No, not the death of Judge Leighton, former federal judge and civil rights pioneer, and quite possibly the most interesting man in the world, back in the beginning of June, but rather the BigLaw pay raises that I, like many other small-time meat and potatoes attorneys aren’t affected by and don’t fucking care about.

I’m the Boozy Barrister, and it’s time to buckle the fuck up.

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Stop Living Like a Pro Athlete: 5 Financial F’Ups of Small Lawyers, Part 1

This weekend I got a new car, and it got me thinking about a few things. Primarily, it got me thinking about how financially overextended a lot of young lawyers, and for that matter older lawyers, tend to be these days. Law school ain’t cheap, and at the end of the day a lot of us started practicing law with the idea it would lead to a better set of financial circumstances like…you know…being able to fucking eat real food on occasion and having a couple suits that aren’t from the local goddamn department store.

Of course, as I’ve posted many fucking times over by now, this was the first example of an attorney being stupider than their clients in so goddamn many ways, and making so many assumptions. I’m not exactly treading any new ground in talking about this one, either, as there are blogs out there like the Big Law Investor who talk specifically about finance and attorneys. That blog, by the way, is ran by a dude who hangs out in the LawyerSlack, and he’s a fairly successful, awesome guy that’s a lot of fun to fuck with. However, some of his advice, like “11 Financial Mistakes Lawyers Make” , is woefully written for the BigLaw associates with a six-figure pay day, signing bonuses, and annual bonuses that triple or quadruple their income over that of your standard solo-small firm guy.

So today and Wednesday, I’m gonna talk about us little guys, those of us who buy our suits at a discount from Boscov’s or from consignment shops, drive older cars, and glare at the mounting pile of bills each month. That’s right, motherfuckers, I’m going to talk about the Five Financial Fuck-Ups of Small Lawyers.

Now, I’m not talking about “keeping your practice overhead low” or shit like that. That’s another post all together. What I’m talking about today and Wednesday is your personal finances, and how I see a lot of guys fucking them up with some common mistakes.

Today we’ll talk about the two biggest fucking mistakes I see: Assuming your salary, and living the lawyer life.

Continue reading “Stop Living Like a Pro Athlete: 5 Financial F’Ups of Small Lawyers, Part 1”