What happened this weekend? Well, Trump supported safe spaces, people decided that forcing baristas to say Trump’s name was somehow a punishment, Ted Cruz still looks like Cousin Eddie, and, because even in the fever dream that is 2016 we need some hope, I watched Band of Brothers for the 18th time.
It’s official. This election year is like a bad science fiction television show. I keep waiting for the part where the candidates remove their realistic flesh masks and reveal themselves as Lizard People. For the record, if (when) this fuckin’ occurs, I for one, welcome our reptilian overlords.
Think that’s a crazy concept? More or less crazy than conspiracy theorists pandering to the supporters of a major presidential candidate by stating there is a federal protocol in place to simulate an alien invasion? I ask, because we all know someone’s reclusive uncle or grandmother who never quite got over the unquestioned trust of Edward R. Murrow is totally going to post the following on Facebook as proof that Hillary Clinton is the harbinger of the apocalypse:
Done watching four minutes of batshit insanity? Great. Knock back a slug of your drink of choice, take my sweaty, oversized hand, and let’s travel down this batshit filled rabbit hole together, shall we?