Let’s Talk About Last Friday

Alright.

Let’s talk about last Friday.

I’m not slipping into character for this one. I’m not going to start cursing, I’m not going to emphasize a bunch of stuff. I’m not going to try to be funny, or abrasive, or anything like that. I’m just going to talk to you guys for a moment.

As you know, last Friday, for Furry Friday, I took some stories from furries and, with their permission, used them to illustrate some points. The points were basically intended to be broken down as follows:

  1. Furry can affect your court proceedings, so you need to be aware of that;
  2. Although you’re a welcoming fandom, Furries who are above the age of consent should avoid circumstances that lend the appearance of impropriety in dealing with minors;
  3. You shouldn’t be forming Twitter lynch mobs; and
  4. Rape should be reported to the police.

3 and 4 were touchy subjects. Very touchy subjects, and I got a lot of mixed responses to them. They ranged from “Thank you for this” to “How dare you tell us not to self-police” and all the way up to “The police won’t do anything.”

I’m not going to touch the rape topic today. I’m not touching it because I’m already working on something to help explain how the justice system deals with this stuff, and to hopefully help explain why it may seem like the justice system doesn’t care. I put out a call among lawyers, and am arranging some time to interview a sex crimes prosecutor in relation to the largest concerns I’m hearing and the biggest protests to the statement made. I’d prefer to let the person who actually handles rape cases speak on that, and accordingly I’m not going to talk about it until then.

The lynch mobs thing, though, I will touch on.

The largest protests and loudest dissents were regarding the perceived position against the Furry community policing itself and allowing “bad actors” to go free and unpunished. It’s likely a response to how I phrased things in the article. I can see how people may have taken that as “lay off rapists.” It wasn’t. It wasn’t even really about rape. It was about jumping to conclusions of judgment and acting on them publicly, and encouraging others to do so.

I don’t think that’s right, and the reason I don’t think that’s right is simple: innocent people will get tarred by that brush.

In law, we have something called “Blackstone’s Ratio.” It goes like this:

Better ten guilty persons escape than one innocent suffer.

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So You Want To Be A Lawyer, Part 3: You’ll Get No Respect

Alright folks, I’m in depositions all day today trying to protect a client from themselves, and that means it’s time for another edition of my filler material, namely “So You Want To Be A Lawyer?”

In the last two parts we talked about the history of the legal profession and how you will disappoint my dad and be poor. However, some of you have been sending me messages telling me that this is actually encouraging you to go to law school. Jesus. I knew a lot of my newer readers are into some kinky shit, but this level of self-abuse is fucking unheard of.

But fine. Fine, you don’t care about money, you’re willing to disappoint my father, and you’re okay with the fact the ABA invented a time machine to exert a stranglehold on the legal profession. Are you willing to be the world’s less funny, less endearing Rodney Dangerfield?

Because, buddy, you sure as shit ain’t getting no respect.

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Furry Friday: Furry Legal Stories – Boozy’s Mailbag Edition

Alright folks, it’s feeding time at the zoo with the first official Furry Friday.

A few notes before I get the ball rolling today. I’ll be appearing tomorrow at Furthemore 2017 to do an adults-only Q & A tomorrow night. I expect you all to be there and to bring questions that appropriately let me tell rambling stories filled with sauce and booze. Failure to do so will result in me simply reading War and Peace on stage for an hour and a half.

Now that’s out of the way, let’s cut into the meat of today’s fucked up foray into the faux fur furry fandom. So, earlier this week I was sitting around thinking about a post topic that brought up the perfect intersection of furries and law. There were a lot of suggestions, from “fursuit contracts” all the way down to a forensic examination of the “Boomer the Dog” name change issue, but I decided, based on the amount of love you assholes were pouring into my inbox and my direct messages, to take a look at some legal situations experienced by actual furries.

Each and every thing we’re going to look at today is an actual issue that has been faced by a furry in the past, which has implicated their participation in the furry fandom. These are all drawn from actual furries. The names have not been changed to protect the innocent, because none of your motherfuckers are innocent (Dudes…I found your hdtubemovies porn collection), but I’ve excluded them nonetheless.

So, without further adieu, let’s look at how the fuck furries are getting fucked because they’re furries, okay?

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