Furry Friday: Con Chairs Aren’t God – The Factors of Convention Governance, Part 1

Hey you little neon-colored fauna of the world, it’s time for another Furry Friday on Lawyers & Liquor with the Boozy Badger nee Barrister.  On Furry Friday we start talking about cases or legal principles and considerations that pertain to the furry fandom specifically, or at least those that are tangentially related to it.  So, let’s fill up the dog bowls with some mac’n’cheese, slip on our giant deer heads, start queueing up the latest in music from an anthropomorphic animal, and get the ball rolling with the first of our multi-part series discussing the factors that govern the freaky, fun, friendly world of furry gatherings: the Factors of Convention Governance.

Today we’ll start by talking about the most maligned of mammals…or other groups of animals…the con chair.  That’s right, the mean motherfucker that takes your badge, stresses about fucking everything, gives statements, and ends up talking to a room full of party penguins at opening and closing ceremonies.  The bedraggled bastard that drags themselves through the convention space, desperately begging people to please for the love of whatever god they may believe in not leave a variety of “novelty silicone objects” in the lobby of the hotel.  The public face of the convention and the person who catches the flak.  The micro Mouse-o-lini that steals the joy of others while exerting massive control to make the trains run on time…and not the trains that go on at a “special” room party.

Fuck that guy, right?  They just run everything the way they want it, and the hell with anything else.  Why won’t they listen to the demands of the fandom?  Why aren’t they reacting and changing the convention as people want? Why do they insist on doing shit their way?

Well…

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“No, Reverend, You Can’t Buy Rims With Donations.” : Boozy on the Non-Profit Form

Before we jump into today’s post, I want to touch on a few things that seem to have occurred over the weekend. Over the past week, I’ve been subjected to conversations with the dregs of humanity. These are people with absolutely no moral fiber, no education, and no future. I can’t believe how many of them have retweeted me since Friday evening, and frankly I’m ashamed that they follow me.

I’m speaking, of course, of Ohioans (What? What did you think I was talking about? Bigot…).

A second order of business before I go into today’s topic is a disclaimer: I’M NOT A FUCKING TAX LAWYER. There is a very specific sub-set of very boring attorneys that handle things like “tax codes” and “Tax Court.” I’m not one of them. I’m your general civil litigator with a bad fucking attitude and a bottle of whiskey in my desk, so don’t come running to me if you try to form a church and get your ass audited. It’s your own damn fault. You shouldn’t be taking tax advice from an inebriated asshole with a website just because the furries really like him at the moment.

In fact, you probably shouldn’t be making your life decisions based solely on what the furries like. That just…That seems like a bad idea to me. Great people, but think of the optics of justifying your decisions with “And it’s all because a six foot badger told me to do it.”

ALRIGHT! So, now that we’ve got all of that shit out of the way, let’s move on to talking about motherfucking non-profits!  Yeah! Can you feel the excitement? We’re about to get all 26 U.S.C. 501(c) up in this bitch!

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