Hey guys! The Boozy Barrister is a little busy today and has no post for Monday, so here’s a quick “Legal News Roundup” from the strange places of the internet, showing the best and worst of the law for all of you to gawk at, with distracted commentary from Boozy.
It’s Fetish Friday here on Lawyers & Liquor, the time of the month where we pop ball gags in the willing mouths of the audience and start lecturing them about legal issues related to kinks, fetishes, and, in general, things that have a sexual or romantic flair to them. Why? Because that’s my thing, man! I am a “pedantic legalist kinkster” and I really get my rocks off reciting statutory provisions to a guy in a gimp suit, who has a buttplug up his ass from somewhere like Lovegasm.co. Don’t you judge me.
Before we lube up enough that every surface becomes a slip and slide, though, I want to be really clear about something with this month’s discussion: Some of the stuff I talk about here isn’t a kink or a fetish. It’s a lifestyle or a form of romantic partnership. The reason this stuff pops up in the “Fetish Friday” section is simply because I love alliteration, and in case you haven’t noticed the names of the other Friday posts aren’t always on point. So before you people lose your shit all over me, I want you to grasp the fact that I’m not calling polyamory or non-monogamy a de facto kink. Today I’m just talking about what happens when a person loves a person…and another person…and another person…all at the same time and they’ve decided to live together as a family unit.
So, you know, put away the bats and shit, unless that’s your thing. I’m not here to pick a fight with polyamorists. Even if I was, you guys have me outnumbered by at least 3-to-1, so I’d be pretty goddamned screwed, wouldn’t I?
I keep being tangentially related to scandals and shit this past couple years, and always through former professors.
First it was the case of Pennsylvania Supreme Court Justice J. Michael Eakin, who I learned from and who went out of his way to try and help me find a job immediately out of law school. He was caught up, unjustly in my opinion, in the whole “Porngate” scandal in Pennsylvania and was eventually forced to resign. Note: I have a very nice framed picture of he and I on the evening he swore me into the Pennsylvania Bar, and it’s never coming down.
Now it appears my old journalism professor has gotten in trouble for singing.
Sit back, this is going to be a long post, mostly me gibbering about Constitutional shit, and is subject to being ripped apart by actual intellectual and constitutional practitioners who didn’t spend large portions of Con Law doodling in the margins of their texts.