NCCU and the ABA – A Clash of Wills

OH HAPPY DAY!

So you guys may be familiar with my longstanding opinion that the ABA is something we could do without.  It has, for generations now, served as a governing body without a profession to govern, choosing to suggest things and come up with resolutions regarding the practice of law that are entirely non-binding on attorneys. In short, the ABA is the government-that-never-was, dictating the standards and admissions of exactly 0 attorneys and offering nothing more than a series of possible discounts in the form of malpractice insurance and rental car agreements for the attorney who thinks it may mean something, someday.  But, unfortunately, this lack of say has not extended to the law schools that educate the attorneys of our fair nation, and the ABA, as the accrediting body for these august institutions of assholery, has long maintained a stranglehold on the profession by governing where someone seeking to learn how big of a mistake lawyering is can go.

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Too Many Lawyers: The Legal Profession Needs A Cull

Well, I’ve had a brief sojourn out into the wide world of weirdness that I seem to exist in these days, and in that time I realized that I’ve let several developments in the hellish landscape of ABA approved law schools go unmentioned, but definitely not unnoticed. So, for this Monday, I thought maybe we should discuss the latest developments in the raging dumpster fire that is the current legal education market, given the number of absolute fucking morons that have invaded my email inbox and Twitter timeline asking me shit about law school and attending law school in general.

As if they can’t just read the blog for any period of time to understand that my advice is always going to be “Don’t fucking go to law school, you goddamn moron.”

But hey, if these people were especially bright they wouldn’t be considering law school in the first damn place, would they? No, they’d be considering a more honest and lucrative profession, like dealing drugs or some shit, not looking at a way to actively make themselves poor while players in the very educational field they’re looking to gain admission to are dropping off left and fucking right around them.

This, in my opinion, is a good fucking thing, because we need to start doing herd management on lawyers, selectively removing the weak and least able from our ranks so the pastures out there can sustain the rest of us.

Yeah, that’s right. The legal profession needs a goddamn cull.

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Arizona Summit Schadenfreude: Another Infinilaw Diploma Mill Goes Down.

OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE THIS SHIT!

So, today was supposed to be all about how to not be the fucking problem in negotiations, but you know what? Fuck that noise. We’ll get back to that shit later. I’ll bore you with all of that some other time, maybe tomorrow, maybe not. We got bigger fish to fry.

Namely how the ABA has decided they need to serve a purpose and started bitch-slapping the shit out of InfiniLaw! That’s right, fresh on the heels of sticking Charlotte School of Law on a probation that seems to be sounding the death knell of that outhouse turned law school, the ABA has tasted some blood and decided to unleash hell on yet another bastion of for-profit, corporate driven legal education. While the body of its sister institution isn’t even cold and is, in fact, still jerking through the final few throes of an inglorious ending, Arizona Summit has found itself sitting squarely in the sights of a now-hungry ABA board.

Oh God, I didn’t think I could get this erect.

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LSAT Versus the GRE: Harvard Fucks It Up For Everyone

HEY! Did you hear the big fuckin’ news? Harvard Law decided it was no longer going to require the LSAT to be considered for admission! Oh happy fucking day for all those poor little shits about to register for the administration of the LSAT that’s going to take place in about three months! No longer will they be required to actually register and sit for a graduate school admission exam that can only be applied to one particular type of school. No, from on high in Cambridge it has been declared that the GRE will from henceforth be an acceptable standard by which to measure applicants for entry into the legal profession.

Of course, you know, this is only at fucking Harvard Law where, let’s just accept facts, most of you shitstains who have decided to practice law have not been and will not be accepted to study. If your end goal in life is to be a lawyer with a Harvard degree, I hoped you made that decision while you were in kindergarten and then proceeded to engage in every extracurricular activity you could find from then until now. That, or be a URM. Those are about the only two options you’re going to have.

Every other law school out there, however, is still going to require your ass sit for the LSAT with the rest of us mouthbreathers and struggle your way through, praying for a score that doesn’t make you take and re-take it until you’re acceptable to something other than the Infinilaw House of Pancakes and Law (Opening in Charlotte in 2018).  Well, I mean, there or the University of Arizona, which also accepts the GRE, but let’s just be completely honest: who the fuck actually wants to go live in Arizona?

And you know what? I think that maintaining the LSAT as a requirement for admission to law school is a good fucking thing, no matter what the ABA and Harvard may say.

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Charlotte-an School of Law, Part IV: Jesus fucking christ, can this place just get shut down already?

So back in November I originally posted about how Charlotte School of Law got itself put on super-secret double probation for failing to actually, you know, exhibit some discretion and judgment in accepting students.

Then, in December, I posted about how they were forced away from the government tit like the runt pig when those sweet, sweet student loan dollars were cut off.

Then, earlier this month, I completely lost my shit on Charlotte School of Law, Infinilaw, and the American Bar Association when the school announced plans to send students from the quickly-draining septic tank of their for-profit bone-picking vulture colony to the not-yet-quite-overflowing shit pile of Florida Coastal, another Infinilaw scam.

After three fucking rounds of chastising and berating all those involved with Charlotte School of Law, I thought I’d said my last piece on the matter.  I figure that maybe, just maybe, it was time to let the school suffer its death throes in peace and hope the beleagured students that, likely, should never have been in law school to begin with, made better choices and went to do something productive and profitable, like dealing drugs or becoming holistic healers.  I was ready to move on with my life and just ignore the fact that this weeping boil on the ass of legal education had ever existed.  We were going to part ways, and that was fucking that.

Then I heard the audio of the fucking meeting held in 2015 at Charlotte, where staff actively discussed how unlikely it was for students to pass the bar exam, and how the students were lazy, unmotivated, and needed to be called out for not performing or fulfilling the obligations of a mock bar exam.  Thirty-Seven Minutes of foul-mouthed, meandering, and accusatory lecturing from a member of the Charlotte School of Law staff, all of which boils down to the following:

Frankly, we have to cover our asses.

By the way, that’s not a paraphrasing.  That’s a direct fucking quote.

Can you feel the fucking love?

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