Fetish Friday: Findom – More Than Erotic Shark Art

Welcome to another Fetish Friday here on Lawyers & Liquor, where we talk about the legal issues that may surround anything sex, kink, or otherwise erotically related! I’m your Dungeon Master, the Boozy Barrister, and I don’t mean that in the “Roll D20” way unless we’re defining “D” in a completely different, and this month we’re going to go down the slippery slope of a draining bank account and a throbbing erection as we talk about the legal pitfalls of a very specific kink – Financial Domination.

Speaking of which, you can become one of the Lawyers & Liquor supporters in a variety of means, all of which are going to be in nice italics at the end of this week’s article, but if you go over to Patreon you can become one of those who get their names on our list of Patreon supporters on the website itself, found here! If you want to be even fancier, or have something to sell yourself, I’m happy to announce that as part of my neverending march towards selling the fuck out you can, at the $15.00 or above patreon level, get whatever project you currently have going on listed on our “Special Advertisers” page starting shortly – meaning I’m literally selling ad space I’ll pimp in every post.

Appropriate post to announce that shit on, eh?

Am I done selling out? Oh good. Now, let’s get this ball of debt a-rolling as we tell me what a bad boy I am and make me drain my bank account with this month’s discussion of Financial Domination.

Continue reading “Fetish Friday: Findom – More Than Erotic Shark Art”

Stop Living Like a Pro Athlete: 5 Financial F’Ups of Small Lawyers, Part 2

Alright, so on Monday I covered two of the financial mistakes that small-firm and solo lawyers tend to make that leave them holding tin cups in front of bar association functions crying “Alms!” I promised you guys we’d continue this series, and conclude it, today, so in order to do that we’re not going to spend a lot of time prefacing crap this morning. Instead, let’s get right into talking about Financial F’Ups 3-5 for the Small Lawyer!

If you need a refresher on the shit I told you Monday, and you may because you assholes leak like a sieve when it comes to retaining information, you can re-read Part 1 here, which advises you to plan to make less money and live frugally. I don’t really expect you assholes to listen to me, because as a whole lawyers suck at taking advice from other people.

Continue reading “Stop Living Like a Pro Athlete: 5 Financial F’Ups of Small Lawyers, Part 2”

Stop Living Like a Pro Athlete: 5 Financial F’Ups of Small Lawyers, Part 1

This weekend I got a new car, and it got me thinking about a few things. Primarily, it got me thinking about how financially overextended a lot of young lawyers, and for that matter older lawyers, tend to be these days. Law school ain’t cheap, and at the end of the day a lot of us started practicing law with the idea it would lead to a better set of financial circumstances like…you know…being able to fucking eat real food on occasion and having a couple suits that aren’t from the local goddamn department store.

Of course, as I’ve posted many fucking times over by now, this was the first example of an attorney being stupider than their clients in so goddamn many ways, and making so many assumptions. I’m not exactly treading any new ground in talking about this one, either, as there are blogs out there like the Big Law Investor who talk specifically about finance and attorneys. That blog, by the way, is ran by a dude who hangs out in the LawyerSlack, and he’s a fairly successful, awesome guy that’s a lot of fun to fuck with. However, some of his advice, like “11 Financial Mistakes Lawyers Make” , is woefully written for the BigLaw associates with a six-figure pay day, signing bonuses, and annual bonuses that triple or quadruple their income over that of your standard solo-small firm guy.

So today and Wednesday, I’m gonna talk about us little guys, those of us who buy our suits at a discount from Boscov’s or from consignment shops, drive older cars, and glare at the mounting pile of bills each month. That’s right, motherfuckers, I’m going to talk about the Five Financial Fuck-Ups of Small Lawyers.

Now, I’m not talking about “keeping your practice overhead low” or shit like that. That’s another post all together. What I’m talking about today and Wednesday is your personal finances, and how I see a lot of guys fucking them up with some common mistakes.

Today we’ll talk about the two biggest fucking mistakes I see: Assuming your salary, and living the lawyer life.

Continue reading “Stop Living Like a Pro Athlete: 5 Financial F’Ups of Small Lawyers, Part 1”