Arizona Summit Schadenfreude: Another Infinilaw Diploma Mill Goes Down.


So, today was supposed to be all about how to not be the fucking problem in negotiations, but you know what? Fuck that noise. We’ll get back to that shit later. I’ll bore you with all of that some other time, maybe tomorrow, maybe not. We got bigger fish to fry.

Namely how the ABA has decided they need to serve a purpose and started bitch-slapping the shit out of InfiniLaw! That’s right, fresh on the heels of sticking Charlotte School of Law on a probation that seems to be sounding the death knell of that outhouse turned law school, the ABA has tasted some blood and decided to unleash hell on yet another bastion of for-profit, corporate driven legal education. While the body of its sister institution isn’t even cold and is, in fact, still jerking through the final few throes of an inglorious ending, Arizona Summit has found itself sitting squarely in the sights of a now-hungry ABA board.

Oh God, I didn’t think I could get this erect.

Continue reading “Arizona Summit Schadenfreude: Another Infinilaw Diploma Mill Goes Down.”

How to be Unexpected: Assessing the Social Media of an Unexpected Lawyer

Let’s talk Lawyer Websites again.

[First, let me say this to Portia Porter, Esq., whose book Alienation of Affections I have been promising to fucking review for two weeks:  I promise I’m doing it.  I swear.  I’m just in the middle of a mess of litigation and haven’t had the time to turn my thoughts into words.]

So, not too goddamn long ago I talked about two lawyer websites that hearken back to the heyday of Geocities.  That was fun, we talked about design choices and shit.  We also touched a little bit on how a website or internet presence can serve to brand your ass when it comes to obtaining clients and shit.  It was discussed, in a roundabout way, how having things like “I am a paragraph” appear on your website may take you from “competent attorney” to “can’t afford a goddamn website designer” in the eyes of a prospective client.

But what if, and stay with me here, what if your internet presence is so goddamn over the top that it’s ripe for critique?

One might even say unexpected.

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How To Fuck Up A Good Thing: After being heroes, Lawyers return to being walking jokes.

Hey, Assholes, remember a couple weeks ago when we were heroes?  Remember when the President put out an Executive Order that made the country gasp and resulted in people that had already gone through our vetting procedures being detained at airports and sent back abroad?  Remember how groups of lawyers headed to ports of entry, sacrificing their weekend to sit huddled in a McDonald’s working on drafts or staked out on the floor of the terminal?  Remember that sudden swell of pride you felt at being a member of a profession whose response to such a drastic measure was “Oh HELL no, hold my martini.”

Yes, for a very brief period of time lawyers weren’t the butt of jokes.  “What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?” someone would ask mischievously.  “I don’t know,” you could respond, “but I know what you call 20 lawyers in an airport…FREEDOM!”  Then a bald eagle would land on your fucking arm as Lady Liberty and Lady Justice invited you back to their place for a no-holds-barred adult wrestling match in their bedroom.

It was great.

We’re well on the way to fucking that shit back up.

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How to Commit Malpractice: Stop Being Cocky and Research, Assholes.

Lawyers are fucking cocky.  We’re all cocky.  Every one of us.  We have the big legal dicks and we swing them back and forth with fervor at every opportunity.  You’ll know someone’s a lawyer, because they’ll mention it within the first four sentences upon meeting you.  We are trained legal advocates who have spent years honing our crafts, with a greater knowledge of the law than many laymen.

And sometimes, we’re fuckers who commit malpractice and cost our clients a quarter of a million dollars because we’re cocky idiots.

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The ABA Has Failed Law Students and the Profession

So yesterday I sort of lost my shit on Charlotte School of Law.  I may or may not have implied its administrators were vultures who had no business billing themselves as attorneys or educators.  It’s possible I implied they purposefully sought out and preyed upon those with big dreams but little academic ability and touted the fact they were doing so as being “diverse.”  I may have, possibly, criticized Infinilaw and it’s corporate for-profit law school scam as being akin to DeVry University and various other late-night TV shills.

I stand by every fucking word of that, and now I have more to say, because let’s be frank: the state of legal education in this country is a goddamn shame.  It sucks for the students, but it’s a damn good thing that this shit is coming home to roost in a way that lays low the “printing money” mindset of running a law school.

I say sincerely and with great conviction that I’m looking forward to more law schools getting shut down.  Cooley, we’re all looking at you.

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