Come on Arlene’s – A second bite at the apple in the wake of Masterpiece Caskeshop

Yesterday was Gay Wedding Cake day in the lawyer world.  If you’re not really sure what I’m referring to, I’d like to congratulate you on finding a new home under that rock.  I hopes it’s spacious and has great wifi reception.  For the rest of us that live in the real world, like the poor bastard behind the keyboard at Lawyers & Liquor, the internet went nuts when the news of the Supreme Court’s ruling of the case of the baker who refuses to be a Marie Antoinette-esque figure to LGBTQ+ couples and demands that they not eat his cake set the world aflame as people tried to read into its meanings.  It was so bad that mere moments after the opinion was released I was fielding a phone call from a senior partner at my office who wanted to talk about it – meaning he wanted me to read and summarize it for him.

Most of the talk, though, was people desperately trying to find meaning in an opinion that never once really touched on the primary issue before it.  Instead of talking about whether the butcher, the baker, and the leather gear maker have a right to deny service to literally anyone in the world they want by screaming “But my Jesus” and locking the doors at the mere sight of a rainbow, SCOTUS punted the ball.  The Supreme Court issued a narrow ruling that applied to only that one set of facts, said “Fuck all of you waiting to hear if we’re about to descend into madness,” and based their ruling off of the baker not getting themselves an impartial tribunal at the first level in this shit.

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Film Friday: Lawyer Dog and The Incredible Injustice

Let’s talk about the meme in the room, okay? This Film Friday, I’m eschewing a discussion of traditional media and the law and diving into the depths of internet memes and news stories to talk about a current events issue and, hopefully, put people on notice that the police are not your fucking friends when they’re talking to you and, even if you think you’re being absolutely clear, you have to literally use magic words to be entitled to your full constitutional protections.

That said, let’s dive into the case of the “lawyer dog.” 

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Freaky Friday: Exorcists Can Get Beatific Immunity

[Yes. I know it’s Tuesday. Fucking roll with it, folks, I was busy last week.]

Holy hell, and I mean that much more literally than I normally do, it’s the second Friday of the month and that means it’s time for us to get a visit from an old priest and a young priest here on Lawyers and Liquor as we dance with the Devil for this month’s Freaky Friday! This month we’re going to talk about how The Exorcist isn’t just a movie that made split pea soup just about the most un-appetizing meal anyone could ever fucking offer you while causing an entire generation of sexual deviants to look at their crucifixes in a whole new light, but also about how the exorcists are a group of folks amazingly prone to liability as the case we’ll talk about this month prove it.

So strap in, gimme three Hail Mary’s, and call your mother to make sure she’s not sucking cocks in hell while we fight the powers of darkness that, in this case, are the ones trying to cast out the demons for Freaky Friday, our exploration of the weirder side of the law.

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Fido is Contraband: No Property Interest In Unlicensed Pets

Holy hell was that vacation just what the doctor ordered.  I mean, the doctor didn’t order it. My office did. Because I’ve been going full bore for a few years now without the chance to unwind for a bit, and I was starting to have the burnout effects cropping up all over.  Still and all, I’m back now, and that means it’s time to bring everything up to date, doesn’t it?  So, for the first (belated) Lawyers & Liquor post back from the mountains of Tennessee and my revelry in the numerous distilleries bordering a great national park, we’ll be lighthearted.

Like, you know, how a court recently ruled your unlicensed dog can probably be shot by the cops without violating the Fourth Amendment.

Just some really light stuff.

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More Than Good Vibrations: Following Up on Buck Ryan

So yesterday I posted on Professor Buck Ryan and how he possibly, maybe, somehow could argue a right to due process exists.  Not too long after publishing it I got an email with links to the response from the University of Kentucky asking if it changes my thoughts at all.

The short version:  Not really.

The long version:  Not really, because the University’s response only states there are additional allegations outside of the song, doesn’t elaborate on the nature of the complaints or the details of the investigation, and fails to identify the case it says supports its position.

The longer version:  Not really because of all of the above, because the case the University references is a non-binding district court decision currently on appeal, and because I think, after having read the case the University referred to, that this is an arguably distinct situation which is covered by a specific University rule (which was recognized by the judge in that case) that may very well create a statutory entitlement to due process for Professor Ryan.

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