This is filler. This is unabashedly filler, because I’m having an amazingly busy week and have to get the themed Friday post together still, and Boozy just doesn’t have time to sit down and write something new and glorious every Wednesday. However, I made a promise to myself, and to you fine folks, that I would keep the site updated at least twice a week as we head back to the three times a week posting schedule. So, in the furtherance of that, let’s bring back an oldie but goody and do a legal news roundup here on Lawyers & Liquor, with some light commentary by the bastardly Boozy Barrister on all of the weirdest or, in my opinion, most worthy news that has slammed into the legal world!
I swear, if I could make this a real job I’d never open a Federal Reporter again.
Continue reading “Legal News Roundup: May 8, 2019”
Welcome back to Fetish Friday here on Lawyers & Liquor and I’m just going to be honest and say I’ve completely lost track of my sponsors. So this one, folks, this one is for me, the Boozy Barrister, as we sit back and talk about a legal issue related to the after dark portions of the law. That’s right, some legal matter, precedent, or rule of law that related to when you’ve been a naughty boy, girl, or other is the purpose of our deep dives into the laws of kink and sex. And this week, well, I mean, this week has just left me breathless!
So join me as we talk about the law of Autoerotic Asphyxiation here on Lawyers & Liquor!
Continue reading “Fetish Friday: “Hypoxia and Euphoria” – Recent Developments In the Law of Autoerotic Asphyxiation”
Ah, year another day has dawned here in the Law Offices of Boozy D. Barrister! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the coffee is somewhat tolerable, and the “new messages” light on my phone is winking it’s red eye at me as I settle in for the week to begin. And, of course, as the very responsible attorney that sits and writes Lawyers & Liquor, a guiding resource for barely capable mouth breathers and the figurative (and sometimes literal) bed wetting baby lawyers of the legal sphere, I know that those messages must be handled in the correct manner:
Saved for thirty days if the client isn’t in years and panicking and waiting for them to call again, because as every good lawyer will tell you it’s only important if the client calls at least two times.
But you really shouldn’t be doing that shit, and I think you all know that. First, it’s a damn good way to make sure you spend an entire day in the office doing absolutely nothing except listening to voice mails and making papier mache heads out of those little “while you were out” slips. Second, it’s a damn good way to lose a shit-ton of business in a really goddamn quick manner. Trust me, I should fucking know, because I’ve been there myself more than once in my career.
Continue reading ““Why Don’t He Write?” – Thoughts on Good Client Communication”
Welcome to another beautiful morning here at Lawyers & Liquor, where I, the Boozy Barrister, talk about whatever has popped into my tiny little head in the last 74 hours since the last time we spoke. You know, on Monday I disclosed that, for the past several months, my office has been without support staff. As such, the inmates are running the asylum in our offices as attorneys do every task great and small that requires any amount of effort, not just those that require the lawyer’s expertise. In short, I’ve been reminded that the true prophets of our time, the 1980’s glam metal band Cinderella, truly knew what they were talking about when they said “You don’t know what you got (till it’s gone).”
Look at that shit! I worked in a glam metal reference. Not fucking bad if I do say so myself.
Anyhow, once the piece went up it hit me that there are some litigation fetuses out there getting ready to leave the comforting and calm bosom of law school to enter into the world of legal practice. There may even be some placenta-encrusted baby lawyers just now struggling into their first type of legal employment. And, as we all know, those fucking jackasses in their Joseph A. Banks suits may have absolutely no clue how to handle the very same legal support staff that I am now lacking and, as a result, may be increasing their chances of either (a) unemployment in a short order or (b) finding themselves sobbing under their desk as Cinderella plays on Spotify repeatedly, gorging themselves on an entire fucking ice cream cake because they can’t figure out how to conference in a three-way call with a client and another party.
But never fear, my little fuck-a-dos, because Boozy is here to help – or at least harangue – you with five simple tips you need to remember about your legal support staff.
Continue reading “How to Deal With Legal Support Staff: A Refresher Course”
Welcome back to another week of wonderful wastrels in the practice of law! I’m your host, the Boozy Barrister, and this here is the grand return of Lawyers & Liquor to the World Wide Web. I’d like to take a moment today and speak about the thing that’s been on the forefront of my mind over the past few months as I’ve drowned in a sea of manila folders and legal pads, and that’s the importance of support staff on your law practice. More importantly, what happens when you go the better part of a year without any support staff, and how this is a neverending nightmare of administrative tasks that suck away every moment of an attorney’s day.
Kind of appropriate that we’re having this little talk about the same time as Administrative Professionals Day, eh? Speaking of which, that would be on April 24th, this upcoming Wednesday, so make sure to get your secretary, receptionist, or that cranky elderly paralegal that looks at you like you’re a lower life form to be scraped off their fashionable flats something nice. May I suggest you forego the flowers and card and just buy them a nice wine, then give them permission to drink it at their desk? Otherwise…well…
You might end up like me.
Continue reading “Like An Old Bra, I Have No Support.”