So, it’s Thanksgiving. As it’s Thanksgiving, I’m going to forgo a diatribe about some ridiculous shit. Instead, I’m going to list seven things that I, as an easily amused and often inebriated attorney, am thankful for.
I got to thinking yesterday about problem clients.
Maybe it was just on my mind, maybe it was the client who sent a four page diatribe about the status of their cases with me, maybe it was the fact that we were out of coffee that morning and I couldn’t find my cigarettes. Whatever the case may be, I found myself mid-morning with my head in my hands as I furiously chewed on pen caps and muttered things about fleeing to Mexico and joining a less stressful and more profitable profession.
Like running drugs for a cartel.
Recently, this gem popped up on my Twitter feed:
Millennials on your jury? Glenn Kuper says, “Don’t panic. But do adapt.” https://t.co/KJrGC9YA0G
— Tsongas Consulting (@TsongasConsult) November 7, 2016
This tweet is like an old white man turning his hat backwards when his van gets lost in East St. Louis, looking at his passengers, and saying “I got this my homies”:
It doesn’t instill confidence the poster knows what the hell they’re talking about, and you’re pretty sure someone’s getting stabbed before the whole thing’s over with.
Wait the author of this article is Dr. Glenn Kuper? Well. I take back everything I said.
Leaving aside the fact that jury consultation and “scientific jury selection” has very little, if any, empirical evidence that shows it to be more effective than the common sense and experience of a skilled trial attorney, the Tweet from Tsongas still rankles the hell out of me. Why?
Because I’m a fucking Millennial, apparently.
What happened this weekend? Well, Trump supported safe spaces, people decided that forcing baristas to say Trump’s name was somehow a punishment, Ted Cruz still looks like Cousin Eddie, and, because even in the fever dream that is 2016 we need some hope, I watched Band of Brothers for the 18th time.
This morning came with the news from Andrew Dunn on CharlotteAgenda.com breaking out the news that Charlotte School of Law , much like Delta Tau Chi, has found itself placed on probation by the American Bar Association. In a statement released by the American Bar Association, it’s clear that the probation is not “super secret double probation” that can be resolved with a rousing party and the crashing of the homecoming parade. Instead, the school’s probation follows a decision letter from the accreditation committee regarding Charlotte Law’s allegedly low standards and the appeal therefrom, and essentially upholds the determination letter by stating:
[T]he Council affirmed the Committee’s conclusions that the Law School is not in compliance with Standards 301(a), 501(a), and 501(b).
Maybe this shouldn’t surprise the Charlotte School of Law community, though, as for the last four administrations of the bar exam the first-time passage rate has been less than 50%, dipping as low as 34.7% this past February. Of course, even the bar passage rate shouldn’t be a surprise, considering in 2015 their LSAT score range was from a 25% percentile score of 140 all the way to the blistering high LSAT score in the 75% percentile of 145, and GPA’s ranging from a low of 2.51 to a sky-high average of 3.17. Notably, these statements are from Charlotte School of Law’s own 509 Disclosure.
Well, isn’t that just comforting.