LSAT Versus the GRE: Harvard Fucks It Up For Everyone

HEY! Did you hear the big fuckin’ news? Harvard Law decided it was no longer going to require the LSAT to be considered for admission! Oh happy fucking day for all those poor little shits about to register for the administration of the LSAT that’s going to take place in about three months! No longer will they be required to actually register and sit for a graduate school admission exam that can only be applied to one particular type of school. No, from on high in Cambridge it has been declared that the GRE will from henceforth be an acceptable standard by which to measure applicants for entry into the legal profession.

Of course, you know, this is only at fucking Harvard Law where, let’s just accept facts, most of you shitstains who have decided to practice law have not been and will not be accepted to study. If your end goal in life is to be a lawyer with a Harvard degree, I hoped you made that decision while you were in kindergarten and then proceeded to engage in every extracurricular activity you could find from then until now. That, or be a URM. Those are about the only two options you’re going to have.

Every other law school out there, however, is still going to require your ass sit for the LSAT with the rest of us mouthbreathers and struggle your way through, praying for a score that doesn’t make you take and re-take it until you’re acceptable to something other than the Infinilaw House of Pancakes and Law (Opening in Charlotte in 2018).  Well, I mean, there or the University of Arizona, which also accepts the GRE, but let’s just be completely honest: who the fuck actually wants to go live in Arizona?

And you know what? I think that maintaining the LSAT as a requirement for admission to law school is a good fucking thing, no matter what the ABA and Harvard may say.

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Waiving Privilege: A Discovery War Story

So yesterday was a snow day for me, which meant I got to sit at my kitchen table and review my case files over and over again, churning out the billables in the comfort of my home and a pair of fleece pajamas with fucking labs on them. It was pleasant. I enjoyed it.

As part of reviewing my case files, though, I also ended up reviewing some discovery production that was going out soon, an electronic copy of which I’d uploaded to a secured cloud server so I can be a redacting fool from anywhere in the world. Most lawyers hate going through discovery production to the opposing party, and I’ll admit it’s a pretty big pain in the ass. It takes forever and can suck away entire days. Hell, that’s why big firms hire doc reviewers and first year associates to sit around and do nothing but obsess over what’s in each and every document.

Me, however? I like to do it all myself when possible, because what you produce in discovery to an opposing party can seriously fuck your case up, and I’m the type of guy who, at the end of the day, believes the buck stops with me and nobody else. I learned this from my boss, who from day one has made it very clear that on each and every one of his cases, the buck stops with me and nobody else.

So let’s talk about that, how trusting your case to someone else can seriously fuck you over and why it may be worth your time to go through the documents your own goddamn self.

I’m gonna tell you fucktards a story to illustrate my point today, so gather round children.

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Music Friday: Let’s all cry like little bitches.

Hey new readers.  Okay, so Fridays are kind of a wildcard day around here.  Normally I post a song that I’m listening to this week, or the song I listen to that I really like.  I post it through Spotify, because almost everyone has Spotify and it gives the artists some cash in their pocket for the play.  Afterwards, if I’m not busy, I’ll normally gin up a post if something catches my interest and I have the time.

Right now I’m preparing for these depositions this afternoon, so I don’t have time.  However, here’s the song, which I first heard when watching Inside Out and completely fucking fell in love with.  Enjoy a little Lava.

5 Lawyers You Meet In Depositions, Part 2: Blowhard, Rabbit, and the Wildcard

So we left off yesterday talking about the 5 Assholes…Lawyers…You Meet In Depositions.

First, let me be clear since some of you folks aren’t understanding the title, it’s a play on the title of a book by Mitch Albom.  I don’t expect you to get that, really, because Albom is an inspirational son of a bitch, and we live in a world of darkness and sorrow professionally.  Still, it’s a decent little read, so maybe pick it up if you want some flutter in your chest that’ll remind you what happiness used to feel like.

Now, I’ve got more depositions tomorrow, so let’s get this pounded out.

We covered the Obstructionist, and we covered the Buddy Guy.  That leaves us with three more lawyers you meet in depositions to wheeze our way through today:  the Blowhard, the Rabbit, and the Wildcard.  Let’s just jump right into the shit on this, okay?

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5 Lawyers You Meet In Depositions, Part 1: The Obstructionist and the Buddy Guy

Let’s talk for a second about the assholes you meet at depositions.

Alright, so you folks should know that over the past few days I’ve been involved in the most hell-ridden part of litigation, namely the process of deposing an opposing party and letting them depose my client.  Not only were these depositions, but these were the most soul-crushing of all depositions:  The trial deposition, where civility flies out the window and people start talking over one another so quickly that the record appears to be half-written sentences with multiple interruptions.

If you’re not familiar with the trial deposition, it’s used when the witness that you’re deposing, and in some cases the party that you’re deposing, won’t be available (or may not be available) at the time of trial.  Here, in Pennsylvania, we also use it in certain circumstances where there’s no such thing as an evidentiary hearing because of the nature of the action.  In these rare situations, the entire evidentiary record as it relates to that one witness is going to be in the deposition transcripts.  The whole nine yards is in play in the trial deposition: evidence authentication, objections, responses to objections, etc.  The court then picks over the deposition transcript and makes determinations as to admissibility, objections, etc. in its review.

If they sound like long, tedious affairs, they fucking are.

You know what makes them worse?  Fucking Lawyers.

But it got me thinking over the weekend, as we prepared for round 2, as to the types of lawyers you tend to run into at depositions.  Opposing counsel’s behavior wasn’t out of the ordinary.  It was just more pronounced and combative.  He was an Obstructionist.  He could have just as easily been a Buddy Guy, a Blowhard, a Rabbit, or a Wildcard.

Oh, you don’t know what any of that means?  Well, that’s cause I just made up the fucking labels.  It’s what I do.  But generally, those are the types of lawyers you’ll run into in a deposition…hey, can you guess what I’m about to do?  That’s right.

I’m about to spend two days talking about the 5 Lawyers You Meet In Depositions.

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