We’re Back – An Empty Promise’s Story

Hello and how the hell are you fine folk? Wow. It’s been a while since the last time I, the Boozy Barrister, attempted to restart this site up to talk about law, lawyering, legal things, etc. etc. etc. To the extent that, as I write the words “The site is coming back on February 1, 2021” each and every one of you are staring at the screen and sighing heavily with the belief that this is yet another empty promise. And you know what?

You may be right. But unlike the prior times I’ve sworn like a drug addict giving up the needle that this is the time it sticks, I’m trying my damndest this time. I mean that in the way that I’m not going to start making pie-in-the-sky promises about updating three times a week or anything like that. Because I know I won’t. As the ancient Greeks used to say: “Know thyself,” and MYself is prone to getting distracted, down, depressed, sluggish, and intensely focused on case work and therefore unable to dedicate the time I had back when my office was staffed up to the hilt to writing my thoughts down on these things.

But I’m gonna try, and I’m gonna try by saying that from here on out you can expect a post from me EVERY MONDAY unless I advise you well in advance. A little missive from the drunken whiskey glass/sentient comedian badger/overworked lawyer to start the week off. Always written on a Sunday night, in fact, so I can make sure it actually is done before I wrap myself in bed and dream about all the money I’ll never make hacking away at nickel and dime lawsuits. Because, to be honest, I miss it. And by setting myself ONE comprehensive post a week at the least, I can dedicate several days to writing it.

So here’s hoping it works.

Other things that are going on?

  • Monday Nights at 7 PM Eastern I’ll be over on Twitch streaming a roundup of whatever legal matter has caught my attention for an hour with a show I’m calling “Boozy’s Legal Funhouse.” You’ll be able to tune in at 7 PM Eastern HERE.
  • Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday I’ll be over at that same Twitch stream in my screaming persona of a giant badger man doing video games for an hour at the same time and generally chatting.
  • I’m sitting down this year to actually try and finally write “Boozy’s Guide to Law for Dipshits,” a book that I’d love to actually get done.

All that said and done, if you’re still here I want to thank you for reading through all of this. I’ll be back again next week. So long as I don’t get distracted.

Peace.

-BB

Guest Post: A Good Boy Speaks about the Coup

[Today we have a guest post from Buddy Goodboy from over at Sit Stay Speak, a friend and attorney, who has sent over his personal thoughts on the attempted coup yesterday, January 6, 2021. -Ed.]

Yesterday the United States of America suffered an attack on the political process unprecedented in the history of our nation. Never before have seditious elements been able to disrupt the electoral process even for the five hours the certification of the electoral college votes was delayed.

The events of yesterday’s insurrection were planned openly online, and despite law enforcement having the same access as anyone of these plans, the attack on the Capitol carried out successfully.

The point was to cause disruption, scare moderate and liberal voters and politicians, and embolden Trumpists for more terrorist action.

Extremists of various stripes, including but not limited to Nazis, white supremacists, white nationalist, race war accelerationists, and plain everyday fascists, learned that they can disrupt the democratic process and that the President will still say he loves them.

This pattern is totally foreseeable when you take into account that a neo-Nazi murdered Heather Heyer in Charlottesville back in 2017, and the president said there were “very fine people on both sides.“

In the presidential debates, when directly asked to condemn white nationalism and white supremacy, Donald Trump endorsed the Proud Boys and asked them to stand by. Trump urged his supporters to watch the polls to intimidate voters. Trump condoned the murders of innocents committed by Kyle Rittenhouse. Trump encourages this kind of violent escalation, and at this point, whether he intends to do so doesn’t matter—the result is a pattern of excusing violence that encourages escalation.

We have not heard the last of violence aimed at destroying equality, progress, and democracy. We no longer have any excuse not to see Trumpism for what it is. And when we see it, unless we want more and worse attacks on our lives, freedoms, and society we must stamp out Trumpism.

If you like Lawyers & Liquor and want to support me, you can toss financial support at the site and its creator on Patreon, through Ko-Fi, or even directly through Paypal! Any help is appreciated, and it keeps me from having to…you know…sell ad space on the site and shit. Want some merch? Check out the 44 minute digital download of “Disappointing Comedy” recorded live at a convention in D.C. right before all this shit happened for $10! Boozy streams games and family stuff most weeknights at 7 PM Eastern time over on Twitch.

Fundamental Friday: You Don’t Have A Constitutional Right To Infect.

[Note: If you’re new here, possibly from a thing I did a couple days ago, rest assured that this is one of those boring lawyer posts where I talk down to people in a condescending manner about a topic. You should recognize it. In fact, I know you do because I’ve reviewed a lot of your firm “blogs” and am well aware each and every one of you think talking to people like they’ve suffered some form of traumatic brain injury is the way you need to speak to potential clients. It’s cool. I get it. You’re an asshole. Anyhow, this one’s more for the laymen, layladies, and lay-people-of-no-or-any-gender, so sit back and enjoy a really long diatribe.]

Welcome to Lawyers & Liquor, a site that’s updated about as often as my invoices are being paid these days. I’m your host, the Boozy Barrister, and this month we’re going to open with something a little different from our typical Free Speech Friday to take a brief foray into the world of constitutional rights and legitimate exercises of the state’s police powers in a time of turmoil. You know, like a worldwide pandemic and a nation that has essentially stuck up a sign that says “Be Back Soon” on the sliding plexiglass door that is our borders. But before we get into all of that fun stuff, please allow me to take a moment and direct you to the list of the Lawyers & Liquor Patreon supporters who provide financial backing for all of the idiotic stuff we do here.

We all on the same page here? Good, now gather around because I want to be exceedingly clear in this time of turmoil:

You do not have a constitutional right to be a complete jackass and infect those around you, and the government absolutely has the precedential ability to restrict you from doing so. And today, Typhoid Dipshit, I’m going to go into why.

Continue reading “Fundamental Friday: You Don’t Have A Constitutional Right To Infect.”

An Open Letter From Your Lawyer: We Don’t Know What We’re Doing.

Hello!

So here we are, in the midst of a pandemic the likes of which hasn’t been seen in the United States in over a century, and we here at the Law Offices of Boozy Barrister would like to reassure and comfort all of our clients. We know that you have many questions regarding this virus, COVID-19, and how it may have an effect on your pending legal matters, your plans, hearings, bankruptcy payments, child support obligations, custody hearings, evictions, etc. We greatly appreciate you reaching out to us and providing us with the opportunity to address your questions as they arise. However, due to the sheer volume of calls and emails we have been receiving over the past month, our partners have all ascended from their well-stocked emergency bunkers and gathered six feet apart in the conference room to draft this open letter to reassure you:

We have no goddamn clue what we’re doing.

Continue reading “An Open Letter From Your Lawyer: We Don’t Know What We’re Doing.”

FurPlanet’s Furry Friday – The Law of Donations

Good Morning (or Afternoon, you know, whatever time it may happen to be when I get this post up. I’m a busy man.) and welcome back to the triumphant return of Furry Friday here on Lawyers & Liquor, brought to you by FurPlanet! Want a bit of furry reading to do? Need a comic that you haven’t seen on the shelves in years? Just want to convince them that investing in sponsored posts on my site wasn’t a horrible use of their time and money? Drop to all fours and dart over to Furplanet to peruse their collections of literature! Plus, and I want to point this out, these folks have been really patient with me over the past year of getting the site back up and going, so they really deserve the love from you.

Additionally, let me give a “lots of love” shoutout to my Blended Whiskey level Patreon supporters, who you can find listed here. I don’t know why you folks keep handing me monthly money, but you do, and I will gladly accept it.

That said, let’s fling open the cages to the technicolor zoo and discuss a topic that tends to hit pretty goddamn hard in the furry community: the giving of money or goods to others or charities in order to help them out. Specifically, what you can and can’t do when you make a charity bid, give to someone who’s about to be on the street, or donate to a good cause.

Even more specifically, why you don’t have any goddamn right to take that money back.

Continue reading “FurPlanet’s Furry Friday – The Law of Donations”