Lawyers Can Dress Themselves: The Attorney Situational Dress Code

So on Tuesday I talked about how lawyers shouldn’t trust their clients to dress themselves for court. That’s actually a good bit of common sense for any attorney out there, and for those of us who have had clients that we’ve represented in court was likely met with a resounding “No shit? You mean the guy who tried to sell weed to a cop who was in uniform shouldn’t be trusted to make good life decisions? Tell me more!”

Thanks for that vote of confidence. Look guys, they can’t all be on the best topics in the world. Sometimes you have to remind people that clients, left unattended, may decide to wear hot pants to see the the judge. Shit like this happens, I thought it was worthwhile.

Of course, the problem of dressing poorly for court doesn’t just extend to clients. It extends to lawyers as well, but in a somewhat more unique manner.

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TiffanyvTwitter: An Open Letter To Tiff

Okay, so back in February I wrote about Tiffany Dehen, a USD Law graduate who filed a rambling, incoherent, and largely incomprehensible complaint as a result of someone creating a fake Twitter profile of her that implied her conservative political views meant she was a Nazi. Since that time, I decided it was best to leave well-enough alone, as Tiffany had proven herself to be sort of the litigious type and I wasn’t exactly interested in being dragged into the undertow on the sea of crazy that appeared to be brewing, and the fact that talking about Tiffany seemed a little too much like kicking a handicapped puppy. She was clearly out of her depth in this matter, suing both Twitter and her law school for $100,000,000 for the ostensible damage to her reputation.

This was, in my opinion, exactly the sort of lawsuit that the courts sort out on their own, without any interference from me or any other the other internet lawyer blogs who wrote about it.

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Arizona Summit Schadenfreude: Another Infinilaw Diploma Mill Goes Down.

OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE THIS SHIT!

So, today was supposed to be all about how to not be the fucking problem in negotiations, but you know what? Fuck that noise. We’ll get back to that shit later. I’ll bore you with all of that some other time, maybe tomorrow, maybe not. We got bigger fish to fry.

Namely how the ABA has decided they need to serve a purpose and started bitch-slapping the shit out of InfiniLaw! That’s right, fresh on the heels of sticking Charlotte School of Law on a probation that seems to be sounding the death knell of that outhouse turned law school, the ABA has tasted some blood and decided to unleash hell on yet another bastion of for-profit, corporate driven legal education. While the body of its sister institution isn’t even cold and is, in fact, still jerking through the final few throes of an inglorious ending, Arizona Summit has found itself sitting squarely in the sights of a now-hungry ABA board.

Oh God, I didn’t think I could get this erect.

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How to be Unexpected: Assessing the Social Media of an Unexpected Lawyer

Let’s talk Lawyer Websites again.

[First, let me say this to Portia Porter, Esq., whose book Alienation of Affections I have been promising to fucking review for two weeks:  I promise I’m doing it.  I swear.  I’m just in the middle of a mess of litigation and haven’t had the time to turn my thoughts into words.]

So, not too goddamn long ago I talked about two lawyer websites that hearken back to the heyday of Geocities.  That was fun, we talked about design choices and shit.  We also touched a little bit on how a website or internet presence can serve to brand your ass when it comes to obtaining clients and shit.  It was discussed, in a roundabout way, how having things like “I am a paragraph” appear on your website may take you from “competent attorney” to “can’t afford a goddamn website designer” in the eyes of a prospective client.

But what if, and stay with me here, what if your internet presence is so goddamn over the top that it’s ripe for critique?

One might even say unexpected.

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Two Lawyer Websites That Make Me Miss Geocities

So the new age of lawyer advertising is here, and it’s on the internet.  The good thing is this is a great way for lawyers to passively put their names out there and give potential clients some information on their offices.  The bad thing is that lawyers, as a fucking rule, are inept as hell when it comes to technology.  The end result of lawyers advertising on the web and technological retardation is, predictably, lawyer websites that look like they’re refugees from the Great Geocities Purge of 2009.

Of all the things we lost in the recession, Geocities is the one that hurt my soul the most.

So today’s post is going to look at two attorney websites I found recently which brought me back to the bygone days of Geocities and websites that were uglier than sin.  Hey, don’t go anywhere…I have pictures for this one!

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