Furplanet’s Furry Friday: Legalize Awoo – The Case of Aycee v. Howler, Part 1

Welcome to another Furry Friday here on Lawyers and Liquor, where our updates are as infrequent as our stability. As always, this Furry Friday is brought to you by FurPlanet, the premier furry book service thingy. Look, they print furry stuff, like books and prints and comics and shit and it’s all pretty nice. You should definitely go and check them out as I don a giant badger head to talk about a legal issue that is somewhat related to the Furry fandom or, in other ways, somehow relevant to the interests of giant animal people.

Like today’s topic, which has been one I’ve, admittedly, been working on for a while with little headway as other shit started seeping into my schedule of traveling from place to place and, you know, actually engaging in the practice of law. Namely, this one is for those of the canine persuasion and the historical discrimination that has resulted from the fining and otherwise punishing of Paul the Persistent Poodle for doing what comes naturally to members of that particular persuasion: engaging in the artistic Awoo. More specifically, the imposition of a $350.00 fine or, conversely, the requirement of a license to engage in the vocal demonstration of all that defines a person as a “good doggie” at 4 in the morning as neighbors may be trying to get a little shut-eye. And buckle up, folks, because we have a lot to go over with this. So much, in fact, that we’re going to be breaking the Legalization of Awoo into several different parts over a few Furry Friday posts because, let’s be honest, there’s some world building to be done here.

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FurPlanet’s Furry Friday: FurryAir – At Least It’s Not Pet-Screwing

Welcome to another Furry Friday here on Lawyers & Liquor, where I pop open the doors to the rescue shelter that is the internet and allow all the strangely attractive six foot animals to roam free all over my mind.  I’m your host, the Boozy Badger, and while I have the Barrister’s dignity and self-respect bound up with some fuzzy handcuffs and shoved in a hotel clost let me take a minute to first thank the new Furry Friday sponsor here.  We recently replaced the Furry Friday sponsor with the awesome folks over at FurPlanet. These fine hawkers of furry literature have been in business in this community since 2004, back when most folks logged onto the internet with a message that screamed “WELCOME, YOU’VE GOT MAIL!” and have a huge selection of anthropomorphic novels, collections, and comics in their catalog given above. And, and, because they know how much you just love to save a penny or two, for the month of October 2018 you save 10% on every order with the code FBM2018 when checking out, not to mention you get a free $20 book

As Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys would say, “That’s a nice fucking kitty right there.” And we don’t know. The person running their shipping department could actually be a cat. Wouldn’t that make this shit all the more appropriate? Looking at the FurPlanet shipping options, they even have what appears to be an option to ship by air, which means you’ll get those products fast and clean with a cheap…wait. Hold on. I’ve received a message from the crew over at FurPlanet and I’m sorry to announce that there is a possibility the air shipping options may be cancelled. Apparently the new furry-based alternative to UPS didn’t actually pay for the planes, pilots, or shipping material.

Can you guess what we’re about to talk about today?

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Furry Friday: Adoptables, How The F*** Do They Work?

Welcome to yet another Furry Friday here on Lawyers & Liquor, where the multicolored menagerie turns the Boozy Barrister into a mad mustelid for one day out of the month in order to discuss a legal issue related to the fandom full of giant critters.  So buckle up the harnesses, shine up the tags on your leashes, and sit down with a dog bowl full of coffee and stay as we dig into the  intellectual property particulars behind one of the finest traditions of furry art: the adoptable character.

And how, at the end of the day, unless certain precautions are being taken by both the artist and the purchaser, the end product is essentially nothing that most people would think it is.

I’m the Boozy Badger, and this is Lawyers & Liquor’s “Furry Friday – Adoptables, How The Fuck Do They Work?”

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Inkedfur.com’s Furry Friday: Insurance Will Ruin Your Convention

Welcome back to the long-awaited second part of the first part of the delayed Furry Friday here on Lawyers & Liquor!  Once a month I take off my lawyer hat to put on my badger head and starting talking about some random legal issue or concept that has an effect on the furry fandom.  Thankfully, Inkedfur.com has, you know, agreed to sponsor these things so I can act like I’m not totally a furry and only doing it for the sweet, sweet small amount of cash…but, we all know that’s a lie at this point.

So, my crazy creatures of all colors, including several that are most certainly not found in nature, let’s get started.  When last I opened the doors to the rescue shelter and let you all run and romp, and do other shit (goddammit Bill, get the hose and spray those two) all over my legal lawn, we were talking about how the structure of non-profit corporations in general.  As many furry conventions are actually registered and structured as non-profit corporations, I advised, they prevent one person from having a lot of fucking power.  In short, what I said was “Even if they wear a lab coat and project an image of equal parts Machiavelli and Dr. Blofeld, they are still beholden to the determinations made by the furry equivalent of the a Board of Directors, which votes on matters affecting the corporation.”  I believe I may have referred to the Chairman of the Board as being, essentially, the “Board’s Bitch.”

…I have not yet heard from Uncle Kage concerning this characterization, although I’ve heard the term has become fairly popular among members of the board itself.

But the Board of Directors isn’t the only shadowy organization shooting down the idea for the Public Pup Play Meet & Greet in the lobby of a hotel the convention is sharing with a World War II veterans’ reunion.  There are other, more sinister, factors at play that keeps you from publicly being a pound puppy, and we all know how that was meant.  So, today, for the second part, allow the lawyer in the badger mask to explain how one particular non entity player can severely restrict the ability of a convention to do all the shit you think it should be doing as an attendee.

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Furry Friday: Con Chairs Aren’t God – The Factors of Convention Governance, Part 1

Hey you little neon-colored fauna of the world, it’s time for another Furry Friday on Lawyers & Liquor with the Boozy Badger nee Barrister.  On Furry Friday we start talking about cases or legal principles and considerations that pertain to the furry fandom specifically, or at least those that are tangentially related to it.  So, let’s fill up the dog bowls with some mac’n’cheese, slip on our giant deer heads, start queueing up the latest in music from an anthropomorphic animal, and get the ball rolling with the first of our multi-part series discussing the factors that govern the freaky, fun, friendly world of furry gatherings: the Factors of Convention Governance.

Today we’ll start by talking about the most maligned of mammals…or other groups of animals…the con chair.  That’s right, the mean motherfucker that takes your badge, stresses about fucking everything, gives statements, and ends up talking to a room full of party penguins at opening and closing ceremonies.  The bedraggled bastard that drags themselves through the convention space, desperately begging people to please for the love of whatever god they may believe in not leave a variety of “novelty silicone objects” in the lobby of the hotel.  The public face of the convention and the person who catches the flak.  The micro Mouse-o-lini that steals the joy of others while exerting massive control to make the trains run on time…and not the trains that go on at a “special” room party.

Fuck that guy, right?  They just run everything the way they want it, and the hell with anything else.  Why won’t they listen to the demands of the fandom?  Why aren’t they reacting and changing the convention as people want? Why do they insist on doing shit their way?

Well…

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